Comparison & Leadership | Do Not Go Together

This week I am excited about our guest blogger. Lori Wilhite is someone who leads well.  I met her via Skype about 7 years ago.  I reached out to her because Richard and I were just about to plant our church and the thought of being a pastors wife terrified me.  I had heard about her ministry which is called Leading and Loving it and I knew she could help or at least give me some great insight.  She is so full of life, wisdom and the words she spoke to me the day has shaped the way I lead today.  Leadership has so many facets and comparison is one of those areas we must let go of if we are not only going to lead but also lead well.  Get ready ladies this is going to encourage you greatly.  

Ever had one of those crazy-busy days trying to finish odds and ends? We struggle to find something for our kids to wear amongst the Kool-Aid stained shirts in their closets. We pick up all of the superheroes who have been saving the world on the living room floor even though we know they will magically reappear in the next five minutes. We’ve got to rustle up something for dinner and realize we haven’t been to the grocery store this week. What scraps and bits of food can be thrown together to feed our families?

Then we pop open social media. Big mistake. We normally enjoy viewing photos and reading posts by family, friends, and people we like to pretend are friends. Social media has invaded not only our computers but also our phones and—dare we say—our hearts.

We see beautiful children in their spotless, freshly pressed, fashionable outfits. We notice homes that look like they popped out of magazines. And we behold Top Chef–worthy meals being set before kiddos who seem to happily eat their veggies.

Instead of feeling joy and happiness for friends, we begin comparing and start to think that we are just not good enough. Our vision of life is reduced to thinking about the things we lack. How we don’t quite measure up.

Comparison is the internal measuring tape we carry in our back pocket. We use it to measure our deficiencies against the best qualities we see in others, and we fall short. Or we pull it out to measure our successes against the weaknesses of someone else, and we fly high.

If we allow it residence, comparison will occupy and fill space in our minds with thoughts that limit our potential and hold us back. Instead of looking at everything God has made each of us to be, we can get laser-focused on the achievements and talents of someone else. That can lead to hating ourselves for everything we are not, doubt our self- worth and think we aren’t good enough.

In the comparison game, there are no winners. Comparison kills contentment.

Gal 6:4-5 “Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.”

We aren’t responsible to make sure we measure up to the people around us. We are responsible to do the creative best we can with our own lives. To take the gifts, talents, strengths, and purpose we’ve been given and to do our best to use it for God’s glory.

I’ve spent a depressing number of years feeling like I needed to be someone else because I felt like I was lacking.

I am not an amazing Bible teacher like Kay Warren and Priscilla Shirer. I am not an inspiring writer like Lysa TerKeurst. I am not an incredible leader of women like Bobbie Houston. And the list could go on.

Great news! God already has a Kay Warren and a Priscilla Shirer. He is already moving through a Lysa TerKurst and a Bobbie Houston. So I don’t have to be like them! I can be the one and only me. And you can be the one and only you.

We aren’t called to be like someone else. You and I have been called to be like Jesus.

So let’s stop comparing our lives to another’s, start focusing our thoughts on Jesus, and walking with our heads held high.

Lori Wilhite