October is for Friendship

“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12

This month we are going to take a little stroll down memory lane! My October is jam packed with speaking, writing and my new job has me busy…. so I decided to share an old blog series that gained so much traction and also created lots of conversations. The Friendship Series was filled with hard truths that have continued to stick with me!

Today, however, I wanted to kick the series off with a few things that I believe can help you navigate through friendship. I am 43 and I am not claiming to know all the things about friendship, but I do know these things…

• I have had meaningful friendships end that hurt me to the core
• I have a group of women who are my very best friends
• I have learned that toxic friendships never are a good thing

I recently went to a sleepover to celebrate 4 of my closest friend’s birthdays. We had so much fun laughing, eating yummy food and celebrating our friendship and their birthdays! There were 13 of us total. We decided to play the question game. The question game is simply that… we each put 2 questions in a bucket and one by one we passed the bucket answering whatever question we pulled out. Questions like, “what is your Disney spirit animal?” to “what is God teaching you?” to “how does an ant pee?” As I pulled my first question out, immediately I felt that feeling of ugh rise up. The question was this….

What is one thing you wish you could change about yourself?

My response was this….

I don’t like that when people cross me I am done with them.

What a bratty thing to say right? I blame the 7 wing 6 (loyalist) part of me, ha. Seriously, I try so hard to not feel that way and yet I still do it.

I have been hurt by friendships and as much as I want to “reconnect,” I just don’t care. Honestly, I know that is not ok, because it can cause my heart to become a danger zone for things like bitterness, hatred, and numbness.

I’m not saying when you are hurt, betrayed, or even forgotten you need to be best friends again, or try to re-create something that isn’t meant to be. I’m saying forgiveness is something you have to do over and over again, and you have to keep bitterness in check, and your heart postured towards a Holy God who calls us to walk in His holiness.

Holiness is a by-product of our surrender, and friendships that stir the ugly up in us has to push us to reevaluate the condition of our hearts. Since that Friday night sleepover, I have asked God to show me the ugly and pull any seeds of bitterness in me that may be lurking.

Friendships are meant to challenge us and make us better. I believe friendship is meant to be fun and to breathe life into you. Friendship keeps you from falling of the cliff, picks you up when you do, and loves you back to life when you can’t seem to keep going.

As we head back to the blog vault stop for a moment and ask yourself if you are like me? Then after you answer that question take a moment for God to search your heart and then allow Him to pull out the ugly, restore the hurt and replenish your soul with the beautiful truth in John 8:32 “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free”

Be free, my friend.