Friendship | Part 3

I eat bubble gum. A shameless truth about me and yet also extremely embarrassing. I will say that I have not eaten any in a very long time. Well minus the piece of gum here and there that I “accidentally” swallow. This little unknown fact leads me to lesson three.

Lesson #3. If I choose to live in a friendship bubble one day that bubble will be popped and a mess is inevitable.  

Ladies we tend to create the perfect friendship in our minds based on how our needs are going to be met. We tend to go for the shiny friendships that can make our egos a little bigger.

That’s not a genuine friendship.

If you are only being around that group, that one person for constant validation, or to have them approve of your every move that’s a puppet not a friend.

When I was in college the first year was a hard one in the friendship department. I met a beautiful girl who laughed at my jokes, she encouraged me without strings attached, challenged me and she made me feel better about myself. Her name was Rebekah.

Rebekah saw me for me. She knew my past, she celebrated my victories and she slowed me down to breathe in moments of chaos. We once cut a tennis ball open with a butter knife just to see what was on the inside. It stunk when we lit fire to it and so we chunked it out the window. Rebekah’s Friendship was the first real and authentic friendship that I think I ever experienced. I am forever grateful for her.

I also had another friendship during that time that always left me wondering if something was wrong, I felt deflated and instead of trying to fix things I created a bubble. I would tell her what she wanted to hear and do what she wanted me to do. The moment I realized the difference between the two friendships things changed. The hurt that came with the mess once that bubble was popped created insecurities in me that I didn’t even know existed.

I knew that I had genuine friendship with a few girls that were real and yet I found myself constantly complaining about that one friendship. It caused negativity in me to surface, to also to wanting the things she wanted and yet I knew I couldn’t afford. The pull to become someone I was not was overwhelming.

It’s like chewing on apple rain-blo piece of gum (or 10) and blowing the biggest bubble ever just to have it pop and leave the sticky all over your hands, your hair and face.

Friendship rooted in pride will always end in a mess.

Friendship rooted in selflessness will always bloom into something beautiful.

Rebekah and I still share a sweet friendship that happens to be long distance. When a year or two or sometimes three years go by and we finally see each other we pick back up exactly where we left off. The other friendship I referred to is only social media based and that’s ok because I’m happier being me.

Today I want to challenge you to look within your friendship bubble and ask yourself the hard questions.

#1. Are you friends with that person or people because they stroke your ego by lavishing you with what you want.

#2 when you are with that friend or group do you find yourselves walking away feeling powerful?

If you said yes to either of these questions that’s a red flag sweet friend and the pop of reality is going to hurt.

We don’t gain genuine friendships when there is a tug of war of power present and if you are changing who you are to be who they want you to be your losing.

Sweet friends life is meant to be lived abundantly. Friendships are blessings that flow out of Gods heart because He created us to do life with people. Don’t compare yourself by creating a fake friendship to insulate what may needs to come out of you anyway. God is always drawing us in and using things, and people to help shape us and mold us to look more like Him.

You are free to have healthy genuine and long lasting friendships.

Galatians 6:4
Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else

Philippians 2:3
Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves

Holly

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