Friendship | Part 1
October Has arrived. It’s like summer lingers even though it’s technically fall in September but it doesn’t actually feel like it until October arrives. I have already had my share of pumpkin spice lattes and I’m just getting started.
I have been studying and wrestling with what friendship is for a few weeks. It came out of a conversation I had with a friend of mine about what genuine friendship really is. She expressed her fear behind being intentional and I expressed my thoughts about how even though you can be surrounded by people you can still in fact feel lonely.
I think social media has fabricated friendship and cheapened it. We spend so much time posing, gathering the perfect caption just to create a picture that projects something that isn’t actually there. Now don’t tell me you haven’t posted a picture with someone you barely know and captioned it something that made you sound like you were life long friends. Maybe your post was with who you call your best friend but in reality you know nothing beyond the surface in their lives. The struggle of getting through the surface when someone is suppose to be your friend is vital to deepening that friendship otherwise it isn’t genuine friendship.
As I open up Gods word and I see Jesus and His disciples I see genuine. I see authentic. I see Judas which represents all the bad Friend qualities (am I right).
I am learning and feeling such a pull to look within my own way of doing friendship. I have had a few beautiful truths stirring in me so that I could begin to think about how friendship is suppose to look.
Luke 6:31
do unto others as you would have them do to you.
Proverbs 19:20
Listen to advice and accept discipline and at the end you will be counted among the wise.
Ecclesiastes 4:9/10
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for labor: if either of them falls down , one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and had no one to help them up.
Throughout the month of October I want to encourage you in your friendships. I want you to feel strengthened in the friendships you already possess but also gain courage to step outside of those circles to create new friendships.
This is a crash course in friendships and you get to learn through all my mistakes.
There will be 4 lessons that I have and still am learning and today we will begin with lesson 1.
Lesson 1. In order to become a genuine friend I must become genuine.
OUCH. (Trust me I know)
The word genuine is defined by Webster as; actual, real, or true : not false or fake; sincere and honest
Ask yourself the hard question. Am I these things to the people I call friends and if not start there. I did this exact thing about 3 weeks ago and I was shocked at all that God pulled up in me.
Realness in friendships is vital. I have had friendships in my life where I became who others wanted me to be. I was fake and never honest about what I needed within a friendship and because of that those friendships have dissolved not because of them but because I couldn’t keep up.
That’s exhausting and unfair.
I am learning however that when you choose your close friends wisely you begin to understand the beauty of friendship in a whole new way. God creates us to crave community because just like that Ecclesiastes verse says “two are better than one because they have good return for their labor”. Ministry is better together. Dreaming big is better when you have someone to dream with you.
Richard is my biggest cheerleader no doubt he spurs me along and loves me well through each of my crazy dreams. But if I’m honest having a best friend to also cheer me through it, send me sweet encouraging text to keep going, get me prizes (a lot of those kidding) is different. Not because they are better it’s because friendship requires a level of intentionality that’s just different. Richard doesn’t like to paint nails while sipping coffee as we talk about stuff. Richard doesn’t like to shop in the dollar bins at target and talk about the latest fashion all the while talking about dreams hahaha but friends do.
Today was a lot. I totally get it. I am passionate about this because I believe we are in a time where unity is a must for all believers. No matter the race or background Gods sons and daughters need each other because we have a world that needs Him.
Jealousy doesn’t have room when the focus becomes on the kingdom.
Envy doesn’t have room when the focus becomes on the kingdom.
Self pity doesn’t have room when the focus becomes the kingdom.
The kingdom will grow and your friendships will deepen the moment you get your focus off the friendships that you don’t have or don’t like and begin to become the friend you need.
much love,
Holly
